I can't fix it, ok?

I am a worry-freak by nature. Throw a problem that I can't solve at me and I worry all day.

I just want to enjoy my lunch. The only me time I truly have. I don't need to be bogged down by 3 problems that I can't control and can't fix even if no matter how hard I try. 3 very things that will keep me up at night and for many nights to come because I can't fix it. 3 things that really come to think of it, is caused by stupidity and rigidness.

Give me a break...I thought the problem was solved. Why are we digging up new ones before we can even enjoy the fruits of the earlier solution? Have I not have enough things to worry about in my life? I don't have the freedom to decide the course of my life. Give me a f*cking  break! I don't need a problem that I can't fix just because someone decides to be silly! People are coming at me from all angles wherever I decided to park my ass. 

Stagnant

I am out of sorts. It is Tuesday and I just caught myself staring into space feeling absolutely bummed out. I look at the emails trickling in and I feel extremely frustrated. I don't even have the strength to muster a reply.

I have done nothing and can do nothing to turn my life around. Everyday I am running in little circles trying to create meaning out of nothing. I wake up in the morning, barely had my eyes open and already I feel nervous, I feel afraid, not knowing how to get through the day, let alone the week. Trapped in a routine by design.

Bluesy

I miss the life I never had. I hate feeling this way, it makes me so blue that I don't know to switch back to cheery yellow colour. I wonder why is it that it is ok for others to have happiness and what not but I don't deserve it and we're not allowed to deserve it or even think it. 

I wish today will just end.