Confinement Experience

What does it feel like to be in confinement? It all starts off with 4 days in the hospital where I dread using the hospital toilet but have to. What makes it worst is that I know that I can't cleanse myself from all the hospital and public toilet germs when I get home until the 12th day. Yes, 12 days of no bathing.

Frankly I wasn't looking forward to confinement but I didn't expect it to be such a devastating experience. I can't turn on the fan so I sit in the air conditioned room all day. What's so bad about that? Not much except that I still sweat like a pig in the room not matter cold it was and I am just not used to turning on the air cond at home all day. It feels wasteful.

My feet are covered in socks almost 24 hours a day, and I miss the feeling of my bare feet touching the ground. Though all that is just cosmetic, the worst part of confinement is I am constantly feeling depressed. I don't know if it is because I am stuck in my room all day and I can't watch TV, I can't read books and pretty much I can't do anything but rest and eat. In fact I don't even have any appetite. I feel like I can't go through another day. And people are constantly raining advice and criticism into my ears that I feel like screaming.

I thought I can withstand this because I am a homebody. But by gosh I was wrong, it is not so much the need to be out and about. It is just a simple need to be anywhere with my baby but here. Anywhere but here where it is like a heated oven and also a pressure cooker. I don't know what makes it worst.... Is it the heat? Is that playing with my emotions? I don't even know how depressed I feel sometimes and I hope it is just the symptoms of confinement.

This is the 3rd week. I am counting the days where I can bathe anytime I want and I can drink PLAIN water because I am so farking thirsty and everything else doesn't quench my thirst. Confinement is like hell on earth....